Zak Miller - Wife and how to survive it!

Well I have just got back from the dinner date thing - 6 "boys" & 6 "girls" - 12 strangers cooking a meal together - the guys moving around the table after each of the 3 courses. I did get to sit next to each of the girls because we moved 2 spaces on so I sat next to 2 new girls each time...or something – it’s late!

Most of the girls were ok...nothing special - I did connect with one though. She is a doctor in NW London - never been married but committed to her work. I rather like intelligent women. I think I might ask Gale out on a date. Perhaps - I will sleep on it.

Iva texted me to say she had a special time on Saturday - I have not mentioned Iva yet. She is just to die for...intelligent, beautiful, figure to die for - I just melt each time I am in her company. She is from the Czech Republic is only 26 and "only wants to be my friend" . Still part of the male psyche always lives in hope. I met Iva at the gym - we have been talking for the past 8 months - I have been helping her with her career. She came up to the office where she helped me do some German translation (she speaks German as well as English).

She claims that I am the only person that she can really be herself with - perhaps she really does care - I will not raise my hopes too high only for them to be dashed and to be hurt. To be honest and I have shared this with her, she made me understand how deep my feelings could go towards someone.  She was sort of catalyst that has helped me move on from my relationship with Andy. I need space in my relationships - Kahlil Gibran in his poem from the Prophet says “Let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens move between you” There was not enough space in our relationship. 

I texted back to Iva "Big hugs & kisses for my special friend Iva - perhaps we can make the magic happen more often x" With that thought floating through my mind ...it’s time to go to sleep.Good night

My life used to be normal.....well sort of normal - that was until my wife Debs said she wanted a separation (Shock horror) after 23 years of marriage. Like being hit by an express train!! More of that in the future...!

Well I promise that this blog will be the absolute truth - well at least the truth as I see it - only the names have been changed to protect the innocent - & guilty!!!

I am 53 - with 3 kids in their 20's, a head-hunter in the city and have just split with my girl-friend Andy after three and a half years.

So what happened today.. well the supermarket trolley at Tesco had a mind of its own - refused to obey my requests - sounds a bit like my dysfunctional family - More of that in the future...!

I do feel good about myself today - I did a double spinning session at the gym and for the first time in the changing room some of the guys said that I must have lost weight and looked in pretty good shape.

So what did I do when Debs said "go"? I went - that is round to my divorced sister Marilyn. I felt pretty bad about myself and she is always good for a rescue remedy - words that seemed to always make me feel better. Also great advice for example for singles; "Always have a pair & a spare" and so on.

I called round to her house - 10 minutes drive away. She was out on a date - her kids Naomi and Josh let me in and called her. I told her what had happened. She would get home just as soon as she could. What a lovely sister.

Well....then the most amazing thing happened. Whilst I was waiting the au pair came home - Petra in 2002 was 23 and I was 49. Petra was nearly 6 foot tall - a great body and being 6" shorter thought that she was out of my reach - literally! I was feeling pretty crap about myself but the kids introduced me and the 2 of us started chatting around Marilyn’s kitchen table. Wow - we really connected but more of that later!

As usual Marilyn’s words seemed to make things feel better and after a phone call to Debs, I went back home. Things had settled down a little and we got to talk. Perhaps things would settle back down again. I have always been an eternal optimist!

So back to today - quite excited. Going on a sort of dinner date. Well 12 of us, we cook our own dinner. 6 men (50 - 55) and 6 women (40-45). Apparently the men move around after each course. Hmmm does that mean 6 courses? Its going to play havoc with my diet - I have lost over a stone. I suppose its like speed dating but with food. Perhaps it should be called "Feed dating". Sorry - Zak humor!!

Hmmm - I think I will wear all black - I should look pretty good - well I hope that I do. So now I am off to iron my black trousers with Mum's iron. Oh did I mention that I am living in Mum's penthouse flat. Don't worry - she spends the winter in Florida and is not back until May. The Americans call these migratory people "Snow-birds" for obvious reasons.

So my next entry will let you know what happens - how many courses there actually were - how many pounds I put on, what the "girls" were like and what it felt like.

C U soon!!!